


They're Always Trying to Tell You Something

by V (deepsix)



Category: Good Omens - Gaiman & Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-23
Updated: 2005-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-04 19:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepsix/pseuds/V
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You may not have noticed, my dear, but I am a book collector."</p>
            </blockquote>





	They're Always Trying to Tell You Something

**Author's Note:**

> Written for mare, who wanted C/A talking about chick lit vs. dick lit.

"What the h-- what in G-- what is this?" Crowley asked, holding up an offensive-looking pink and green hardback.

"A book," Aziraphale said dismissively. He was very studiously not paying Crowley any mind whatsoever.

"Let me rephrase that," said Crowley. "Why do you have it?"

"You may not have noticed, my dear, but I am a book collector."

"Actually, you're an angel," Crowley said. "But if we're using technical terms, this isn't a book. It's _chick lit_."

Aziraphale looked up from his book. "It's what?"

"Chick lit," Crowley repeated. "You know, chick lit, dick lit-- it's a book for _women_, Aziraphale. Human women. Who, in this day and age, are called chicks."

Aziraphale looked perplexed. "Dear me," he said.

"Yes," said Crowley. "So the question remains, why do you have it?"

Aziraphale looked at his hands. He folded and unfolded his fingers, then gave up on them and looked at the floor. "I thought it might be useful," he said at last.

"What?" Crowley said. Aziraphale had started to repeat himself when Crowley interrupted: "Yes, I know what you said. But useful for _what_?"

Aziraphale turned an interesting shade of purple.

Crowley gave him a hard look that went entirely unnoticed. "You haven't been considering a career change, have you?"

"No," said Aziraphale.

"And you haven't suddenly gained an interest in chick culture, have you?"

"No," said Aziraphale.

"And you don't even _own_ a television."

"No," said Aziraphale.

"Then why," asked Crowley, "_why_ do you own a copy of _He's Just Not That Into You_?"

There was long moment of silence before Aziraphale said, "I was curious."

Crowley tried to think of an appropriate reaction and failed. "You were-- curious?" he said, as though he'd never considered the word in conjunction with Aziraphale. Though on second thought, maybe he hadn't.

"Yes," said Aziraphale.

"You were curious about how to know when you should break up with your boyfriend?"

"Yes," said Aziraphale.

"Oh," said Crowley, and sat back, disgusted. "Fine. But I should take this opportunity to remind you that it's not me that doesn't want to indulge in cardinal sin number seven."

"I didn't know they were numbered in any particular order," said Aziraphale.

"It makes for easier filing," Crowley said. He looked at the book again, at its sneering title and ugly colours. "Now, does this go in B, or the trash?"


End file.
